


Scream of Pleasure, Sugar Pain

by puss_nd_boots



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Frottage, M/M, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-31
Updated: 2014-05-31
Packaged: 2018-01-27 16:21:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1716968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puss_nd_boots/pseuds/puss_nd_boots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During the recording of a certain early song, Ruki takes advantage of Kai’s crush on him right in the studio. Little do they know that their tryst is about to go very public in an unexpected way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scream of Pleasure, Sugar Pain

**Author's Note:**

> A revised version of a fic that was written in 2012 and posted on another journal that I briefly used.

“Okay, guys, I think that's it,” the producer announced from his thronelike seat behind the console. Not that anybody was paying much attention to him at that point.

Uruha was engrossed in his PSP. Aoi was checking his E-mail, and Reita was playing something totally unrelated to what they were recording on the piano in the corner. Ruki was writing in a notebook – whether working on lyrics or coming up with plans for tour merchandise – and occasionally looking up.

Kai, meanwhile, was sitting quietly next to the producer. He was trying to follow what was going on. He really was. After all, he was the leader, and this EP was a crucial step for them. Their first album, _Disorder_ , had sold well enough that it was certain they'd be able to do a second. Furthermore, there was talk around the PSC office about them possibly being signed to a major label in the not-too-distant-future.

Which, of course, largely depended on the performance of this EP, and the single they had in the planning stages.

“You don't need me to do another take of the breathing?” Ruki said, looking up from his notebook again. They'd decided the last track on the EP, “Sugar Pain,” was going to close with the sound of heavy breathing. Purely for dramatic effect, of course.

This was an example of that Ruki specialty, the inside-the-mind-of-a-psycho song. In this particular case, the song’s narrator lusted for his mother, because he was unable to tell the difference between family and sexual love.

Ruki quietly hoped he wouldn’t have to do that particular little performance again. He’d already performed it enough times that he felt ready to pass out from hyperventilation.

The producer shook his head. “We have it down,” he said. “All that remains is the final mix – and we're starting that tomorrow.”

Aoi stood and stretched. “Freedom,” he said. “I'm out of here. There's a drink calling my name. Uruha, you coming with?”

“You know I usually drink alone,” Uruha said, saving his game and turning the console off.

“What the hell fun are you?” Aoi said. “Come on, just one!” Which, everyone knew, was Aoi-speak for “staying out beyond last train and ending up crashing on the couch of whichever friend happened to be closest to the bar.”

“Count me out,” Reita said. “I've got something to do.”

“Or someone?” Aoi replied. “We know you asked that Russian model for her number. What was her name, Verush-something . . .”

Kai wasn't really listening to the subsequent dialogue, which had something to do with Reita's bird, and Aoi saying something about the bird in question being Russian. He was feeling Ruki's eyes on him. Again.

It wasn't the first time he'd drawn the vocalist's attention, of course. He had felt the other man’s eyes on him many times. And dammit, whenever it happened, he felt a breathless anticipation, a teenage-like pounding-heart reaction.

Did he have a schoolboy crush on the younger man? It was entirely possible. Schoolboy crushes on bandmates were not exactly professional, though- especially when the bandmate in question was supposed to be your subordinate.

But he'd had that hot-scary flip-flopping in his stomach throughout the recording session today, because Ruki's eyes kept finding him, and catching him, and holding him in his sights, like a sniper drawing a bead on his prey. And Kai was very willing to be caught in the crosshairs.

So when Ruki put the notebook down, walked over to Kai and put his hand on his shoulder, saying, “Can you stay a couple of minutes? I want to talk to you,” Kai nodded, glancing over at the other three as they walked out, all matters of birds and drinks and Russian models apparently settled.

“I'm out of here, too,” the producer said, getting up. “Great job today, guys. Just remember to turn out the lights and lock the door on the way out.”

Nobody noticed that as he got up, his elbow bumped into a certain switch on the console, and a couple of lights that had been dark until now flickered back into life.

Kai was alone with his crush – okay, maybe it wasn't a crush, not exactly, but it was the word that probably came closest to his feelings – in a semi-dark studio. Well, hello, there, pounding heartbeat and sweaty palms. Are we going to have any other teen romance cliches show up tonight? Were nervous stammering and sudden attacks of clumsiness going to appear any second?

“You're a fabulous musician, you know that?” Ruki said, taking a step over toward Kai. Great, and now dry mouth was showing up. He was morphing into a character from a harem manga right there before Ruki's eyes.

“You were pretty incredible today yourself,” Kai said. “You've come a long way since I joined the band, you know that? I mean, everyone has, but you . . .” He leaned against the wall, noticing that he was near the microphone, dangling down from the ceiling like some enormous spider from a dragline. He was in Ruki's power zone now. He wondered if he should shift his position a bit more toward the drums.

“You've become, well, an actor through music,” Kai added. “Not just a singer. When somebody listens to you, they feel whatever the song wants them to feel . . . like they're the main character in the song.” Um, yeah, hell of a thing to say when they’d just recorded a song about a guy who has sex with his mother.

“You think so?” Ruki folded his arms and looked down, chuckling a little, apparently nonplussed at being liked to the song’s main character. “Even if I'm just screaming my fucking head off?”

“That's when you make the audience get excited,” Kai said, and realized he was, quite literally, backed against the wall. He took a couple of steps forward. Trapped between the microphone and the wall was definitely conceding the whole power zone to the other man.

“What about you?” Ruki said.

“Me?” Kai blinked.

“Do you get excited?” Ruki leaned a little toward him. “I catch you singing along back there, you know. I must make you feel something.”

Okay, we were now up to heart-in-throat. If Kai opened his mouth to say something, it would probably propel itself out of his mouth and go flying toward Ruki. Hopefully, the vocalist had played a lot of catch when he was a kid.

He found himself looking down, blushing a little, one of his famous smiles spreading across his face like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. “I can't help it,” he said. “You make me feel like I'm one with the song. I mean, I am anyway, since I'm helping to play it, but . . .”

“But?” Ruki said.

“Well, it's like . . . you become the song. You embody it. You . . .”

“You want to be one with me,” Ruki said. “Is that it?”

Before Kai knew it, Ruki grabbed him in his arms and pulled him close and . . . to call it a kiss would be an understatement. Oh, no, this was more a merging, the way the vocalist's mouth devoured him all at once, lips claiming his fiercely, tongue pressing against him in a way that demanded entrance.

Kai trembled slightly as his arms came around Ruki, pulling him closer. This was happening. This was really happening. They were making out – hot, fierce, passionate kissing – right in the place where they had just been recording. It was insane. He should be protesting – shouldn't he?

Except every little objection that rose up in his mind was quickly brushed away by the kiss getting wilder and hotter. They were still in the damn studio – Ruki rubbed his tongue back and forth over Kai's. Somebody could walk in any second – the vocalist's teeth captured his lower lip. PSC would have a conniption if they found out – Ruki's tongue slipped out of Kai's mouth and began moving down the drummer's neck, slow and hot and wet.

Kai leaned back against the wall, breathing heavily, feeling Ruki's tongue moving slowly upward, like someone tasting and savoring a gourmet dish. He was in a state of total surrender, of logic overwhelmed by bliss. His eyes opened, and he could see the mike hanging right in front of them. No anxiety about being trapped in Ruki's power zone anymore. It just looked phallic to him, as if it were a prop deliberately put there to enhance their lovemaking.

Those teeth were nipping at his earlobe now, and the wicked tongue flicked over the tiny hole. “Do you know why I asked you to join the band?” Ruki said in a low, breathy whisper that went straight to Kai's cock. “Because I saw you that day you came backstage, when Yune was still with the band, and I thought you were so fucking beautiful. Sweet like an angel, and sexy as hell. I wanted to look at you, and touch you, and . . .”

Kai felt a hand cup around where he was hot and hard, pressing gently, just enough to make him lean his head back and moan. It was torture, sweet, delicious torture, that touch through all that fabric, so close and yet so far . . .

“I love to watch you play,” Ruki said, his hand rubbing just a little, enough to make Kai let out another moan. “You're so physical, you get so into it with your whole body, and then you lean back with a look on your face like you're coming . . . it's like you're fucking the music. It turns me on so much . . .”

That tongue was on his neck again, rubbing back and forth against him slowly, and Kai thought he was going to explode. He had to do something, had to pay the other man back for what he was being given . . . .

His hand shot out, grasping the button of Ruki's pants, and unfastened it rapidly, yanking the zipper down. Fingers trembling, he pushed the fabric down and then grasped the hard length in front of him – much larger than one would expect of a man of Ruki's height, or lack thereof – and brushed his thumb back and forth over the head, slowly, his fingers caressing the length.

He heard Ruki's breath catch, and then a few murmured words. He wrapped his fingers around the shaft, stroking him with a little twist of the hand, watching the other man's face as his eyes closed in pleasure, as his lips parted, a small moan escaping.

This, of course, made Kai feel all the more like he was going to explode. He needed release so badly that his body ached – but there was the small matter of having no lube. When Kai left home to go to a recording session, it was not exactly with the mindset of “Hey, I'm going to get laid tonight right in the studio! I'd better come prepared!”

With a sudden inspiration, he whispered in Ruki's ear, “Turn around.” The other man obeyed, bracing his hands on the wall, his gorgeous ass tilted backward in expectation. If only his fangirls could see him now, Kai thought. That would make one hell of a photoshoot. Shoxx would have to temporarily change its name to Sexx.

Kai pushed his own pants down and leaned over Ruki, his cock pressed between his cheeks but not penetrating. He reached around the other man's body, grasping his erection again, bringing his thumb to the tip like he did before.

He started to move his hips, his hardness surrounded by heat, sliding over skin that was firm and smooth. He could hear his own breathing start to get heavy and ragged in his ears, feel a slow warmth start to spread in his belly.

His thumb brushed back and forth over the rounded head of the other man's erection, catching a couple of drops of precome and smearing them around, feeling the heat, the slight throbbing. Kai ran his whole hand from the bottom of the shaft to the top, taking in the little details – the pathways of the veins, the change in texture as he got near his balls, the way it curved a bit differently than Kai's own.

The hand that wasn't on Ruki's cock slipped under the vocalist's shirt, finding a nipple, rubbing it in time to the stroking, the tiny nub hardening under the gentle, yet firm touch.

Kai moved his hips harder, faster, stroking against Ruki over and over, hearing the other man's breathing get louder and rougher as his hand moved faster as well. Ruki was thrusting back against him, then forward, fucking his hand. Kai responded to him, fingers fluttering over the length, pausing at sensitive spots just long enough to make Ruki let out a moan before flittering away again.

He pinched the nipple, very gently, and felt Ruki shudder – and then shudder again as Kai leaned forward, tongue sweeping up Ruki's neck like Ruki had done to him before. His hips were thrusting fully now, and the heat gathering in his belly was feeling like a coiled snake.

He was close, very close . . . his fingers were pausing longer at the sensitive spots now, rubbing slowly over the place where the head joined the shaft, and Ruki leaned back against him, eyes tightly closed, mouth open in a gasp, heavy breathing giving way to flat-out moans.

Kai moaned along with him as he ground against him hard and fast, his eyes closed tightly in concentration as he felt the heat within swell, and swell some more, and finally burst. He cried out loudly as the come poured from him, filling the cleft of Ruki's sweet ass.

His fingers didn't slow down, stroking and stroking the sensitive spot until Ruki cried out in return, and Kai felt hot wetness pour over his fingers as the other man's body shuddered.

They just stayed like that for a long moment, panting, trying to readjust to reality. Kai was so blissed out, so wonderfully mellow and happy, that the realization that they were still in the studio wasn't a shock to him. It seemed the most natural thing in the world.

Ruki finally turned around and leaned into Kai for a kiss, a soft press of lips this time. The vocalist gently grasped his lover by the wrist and guided his come-covered hand to his mouth.

“Lick,” he said, softly, and Kai did, cleaning Ruki's essence off his fingers – and he shuddered in surprise as Ruki leaned over, licking a bit of himself off as well. They shared another kiss, tasting it on both their mouths, and it was incredibly intimate.

Ruki leaned against Kai, wrapping his arms around him, and murmured, “Stay at my place tonight.”

Kai was about to answer that he was supposed to be staying with Reita – the others took turns putting him up for the evening when they were recording, since he was still living with his mother a long distance away.

But that didn't matter. He'd just shoot Reita a text saying that he'd gone out with Ruki and was just going to crash with him. Of course, Reita would probably see through that in a heartbeat – he knew neither of them were big drinkers.

At the moment, Kai didn't care. He wanted more of what he just had, and damn the consequences. He kissed Ruki, and murmured, “Yes.”

They paused just long enough to clean Kai off with tissues and pull their pants back on, and then headed for the doors, hand in hand.

Neither one of them would have noticed the “recording” light that had been on in the console throughout their little tryst, winking off only after it had captured most of their heavy breathing.

* * *

The producer sat at the console the next day, listening to the mix of “Sugar Pain” one more time. Yes, the song was as good as it could possibly be. It had to be nothing less than perfect – right? This band's future was riding on it, and anyone who heard them said they had a bright future indeed.

There was just one thing rankling the man, though. The heavy breathing at the end . . . did he use the right take? Did it really have all the impact it could? Maybe he should go through all the takes he'd recorded again. Okay, the band had already signed off on this version, but if it could be made that much more better . . .

Looking at the screen in front of him, he realized one of the sound files was bigger than all the other takes. Well, that was odd. Had they put two takes together? Did someone merge the files and he didn't know about it? He opened it up, and moved the cursor until it was halfway through.

He frowned as the sound came out of the speakers. It was another take of the breathing, all right. But it was so much better than all the others – it sounded, well, more real. Urgent, loud, sharp, sexy . . . and there were some other, smaller sounds at the beginning. He could sprinkle them over the song's intro – a foreshadowing of what was to come.

Damn, but he couldn't remember recording this one. He must have, though. Why else would it be here? He didn't remember cutting any of the takes off abruptly like that, either – he must have done it by accident. Small matter – it actually gave the ending much more impact.

He listened to it again – strange, why did it sound like two men breathing heavily at points? Was it a double-tracking created by the merged files? Well, whatever, this take was still the winner. He was definitely replacing the ending they had with this.

And, yes, the band had already approved the track. Well, he was making an executive decision. It was for their future, right?

* * *

“It's shipped to the stores!” Kai said with excitement, walking into the band meeting room waving a copy of _Gama_ over his head. Even after several EPs, singles and an album, it was still a thrill to get that first physical copy in one's hand, to see one's hard work pay off in the form of something that was literally going to be sitting on the shelves of Tower Records and Like An Edison.

“Well, what are you waiting for, Leader-san?” Aoi said. “Put it on and let's listen to it!”

“Like we don't know what it sounds like?” Reita retorted.

“We haven't heard it beginning to end, remember,” Ruki said. “Not since the final mix.”

“He's right,” Kai said, moving to the sound system in the corner. “We should listen to it like our fans do.” Come to think of it, their producer had said something about “minor tweaks” to one of the tracks. Wello, it couldn't be that different, right?

And, indeed, it didn't really sound different. From the stage entrance at the beginning, to “Cockroach” (and Kai couldn't wait to hear people's reactions to the PV, he considered it the best one they'd done yet), to “Last Bouquet” and “Katherine in the Trunk,” everything was just as they remembered it. Except, in a way, it was better, because now it wasn't just theirs – now, it was going out into the world.

Until they reached the last track, and then, they started to hear . . . something. Aoi's grinding guitar was definitely what they remembered, but . . .

“That sounds like . . .” Aoi frowned. “I thought the breathing was at the _end_ of the track.”

“Me, too,” Reita said. “Huh, they moved it?”

But Kai sat there, frozen. Oh, those sounds were familiar. The panting, the moaning, the passionate murmuring. It sounded a bit too much like . . . he glanced over at Ruki. Did he realize it? No, that couldn't be them! They were done recording! Everything was turned off – wasn't it?

The song proper started. No more unfamiliar noises, thank God. There was a bit of sampled movie dialogue in the middle, but they knew it was coming. Kai let out a deep breath. He was imagining things. He was paranoid that people would know what happened between him and Ruki in the studio that night.

Until the ending of the song came up, with the grinding guitar intro again – and then the breathing. Loud, harsh, passionate, and anyone who'd slept with Ruki and/or Kai would recognize it.

And Kai knew for a fact that both he and Ruki had slept with Aoi. Of course, he wondered who in Tokyo had NOT slept with Aoi.

Kai looked around him. He saw Ruki's mouth forming the words, “Oh, holy FUCK.” He saw Aoi and Reita exchange glances like . . . did we hear what we think we heard? (Ruki had an occasional friends-with-benefits thing with Reita, too, didn’t he?) Uruha just looked puzzled.

“Whoa,” Reita said. “You go real far for a good take, Ruki.”

“I didn't know it was fucking recording!” Ruki said, his face turning red, and then purple, and then something like fuscia. “I mean . . .”

“You mean, you got lucky in the studio and it ended up on our EP,” Aoi said. And then, his head swiveled toward Kai, and Kai gulped, a deer in the headlights, an outlaw cornered by the sheriff's posse.

“Looks like you've been captured for posterity too, Leader-san,” he said.

“Thought you'd have better taste, Ruki,” Reita added.

“Hey, nobody can say we're not hardcore about music now,” Aoi said. “We're now hardcore – literally.”

“We can still recall it,” Uruha said, quietly, looking down at the table.

“Too late,” Ruki grumbled. “It's pressed and in the shops, like Kai said.” He put his elbows on the table and his head in his hands. “Fuck! We're telling PSC we're never working with that guy again.”

“And admit to them you were using the studio as a love hotel?” Aoi said.

They knew that was a very, very bad idea. Not with a major label deal being dangled in front of them like bait before a fish.

“Love hotel,” Ruki repeated, and then, suddenly, started to laugh. “Love hotel!” He suddenly threw his head back and roared with laughter. “We were using the studio as a goddamn . . .”

The others all looked at each other. Their vocalist had cracked. Having his tryst out there before the fangirls had driven him over the edge. Ruki was literally pounding the table now, eyes watering, breath coming in gasps – not unlike the now-notorious recording.

Then, Kai found himself starting to laugh as well – chuckles that suddenly became full-body hilarity, his head thrown back, hands grasping the table. You had to laugh or you'd cry, and so, Kai just laughed, and laughed, and laughed some more.

Pretty soon, Aoi was laughing as well, then Reita, and eventually, even Uruha was caught up in it, pounding the table and roaring until he nearly choked.

When their manager arrived for the meeting, he tried to get them to tell him what was so damn funny. They said it was a “you had to be there” thing. He continued to wonder about it through the ensuing meeting, though – especially when he made an offhand reference to “Kai getting lucky” and the whole room burst out in hilarity all over again.

* * *

In the end, they decided the best policy was to keep mum about it, and smile and act cryptic if anyone ever flat-out asked them the story behind the noises at the beginning and end of that particular song. Of course, the jokes behind it took their own sweet time going away – for a long time, “Sugar Pain” was known as “Leader-san Gets Lucky” when it appeared on set lists.

Eventually, it met the fate of most of the songs they performed regularly during that time period - it faded from the band’s repertoire. Repeated Countless Error was the last time it was performed live. It didn’t make the cut for The Decade.

But in one way, it refused to die.

* * *

Kai was going through his usual routine of checking everything before the live. Another tour finale – this one Omega, wrapping up the Venemous Cell tour. It was one that had its ups and downs, but he had every confidence they’d go out on a positive note this time.

He sat at the drums, testing them one by one, carefully analyzing the sound. The cameramen who were capturing them for the backstage DVD paused at him for a moment, filming his tests, then moved on to the front of the stage.

Once Ruki was sure that he and Kai weren’t being filmed, he made his way to the drumstool, and draped his arms around the bandleader's shoulders. “Hi,” he said. “So how does it sound?”

“Hi yourself,” Kai said, greeting the other man with one of his incandescent smiles. “It’s all good. We’re going to put on a great show tonight.”

“We’d better,” Ruki said, tightening his arms around his bandmate. “Dammit, why do I always feel empty when we end a tour?”

“It’s not the end,” Kai said. “It’s the start of something new. We go to work on our album right after this, remember.” He turned his head toward Ruki with a small twinkle in his eyes. “Besides, aren’t you looking forward to being in our own bed every night?”

“Okay, there’s that,” Ruki said, glancing toward the cameras again – and then, when he saw they were firmly fixed on Aoi, he gave Kai a small kiss on the top of the head.

It was going on seven years now that they were a couple. They’d graduated from being friends-with-benefits when the band got that major label deal, moved in together after playing Budokan, moved to a bigger place after making Tokyo Dome. They had to keep quiet about it all, of course – but that didn’t put any dents in their happiness.

Aoi happened to see the loving couple out of the corner of his eye. And he decided to give them a very special serenade, something just for them – which got performed at sound checks quite frequently.

Kai was about to reply to his lover when the speakers suddenly burst forth an all-too-familiar grinding guitar line – one that had once been accompanied by the sounds of their passion.

The couple froze where they were. Ruki shot a glare toward Aoi. Aoi turned his head toward them just a little bit, with a tiny hint of a smirk – and kept right on playing Sugar Pain.

“Why the fuck does he always do that?” Ruki hissed.

“Teasing,” Kai said. “Everyone does it to me all the time, remember?”

“Yeah, well, I wish he’d leave me out of this particular tease,” Ruki said.

“Like he’s ever going to let us forget what happened then?” Kai said.

They knew the answer to that. It was Aoi. Of course he wasn’t.

“Besides,” Kai added, “what happened then wasn’t all bad – was it?”

Of course it wasn’t bad. It was one of the hottest fucking experiences of Ruki’s life. It was wild and crazy and spontaneous and forbidden – and had he known about the recording, it would have made it all the hotter.

Letting it go out before the public wasn’t very hot, but hey. They could make sure that didn’t happen next time . . .

Wait a minute, did he just think next time? He most definitely did.

“You say we have studio time booked?” Ruki said.

Kai nodded. “In two weeks,” he said.

Ruki squeezed him closer. Yes, he could make sure they’d be alone at the end of a day of recording. And then carefully check the room for anything, and that meant ANYTHING, still turned on. And once that was done . . .

Oh, he was looking forward to pinning his lover to the wall next to the microphone again. Maybe make a very private recording this time – audio and video.

And the fact that Aoi was still playing Sugar Pain just made Ruki smile all the more.

“I think,” he said, “that we’re in for some very interesting recording sessions.”


End file.
